Abby saw that her mother’s mouth was hanging open and then realized it too late.

“Oh God mom, it was just for fun! We were making dandelion chains and she said-“

“She said it would be fun.” Her mom interrupted angrily, “Yes, it will be fun to conjure demons and make them do our bidding. I’m sure it was a fun afternoon of soul blackening for you two girls.”

Abby knew that her mom would never let this go but she had to try. “It was just a spell for long life so we can be friends forever! We didn’t hurt anyone!”

“I’m sure it seems that way, but you’ve hurt me, Abby. And by doing this, you’ve hurt your chances to live forever in God’s kingdom and you know it! You know that it’s wrong to do witchcraft!”

Abby stomped her foot and dropped her fists at her sides angrily. “No, mom, God would not punish me and Meg for this. He was there too. She even said that the Lord was with us!”

“That’s just her false god. That’s not the true God in whose name you were baptized as a teensy baby,” she inhaled sharply, “Oh Jesus, forgive her. Please don’t forsake my baby. You have to forgive her and punish that Satan worshiper Meg for tarnishing her.”

“No! Mom you can’t say that! Meg is a true friend!” Abby’s face felt so hot.

“You just can’t see her anymore, Abby, that’s all there is to it.” She was resolved.

“But you can’t -“

“Yes I can. And I will do everything in my power to protect you. This is not something that you can just play with, sweetheart, this is your eternal soul.”

There was a ringing in her ears that was growing and making it harder to hear her mother. Abby was aware of her rapid breath and the need for a tissue but she didn’t care.

“….girls…too close…Dora needs to…when I call…”

“Don’t call her,” Abby seethed.

“It is not up to you. Go pray about this, Abigail, right now. You ask Jesus for forgiveness and I’ll call Dora -”

“I won’t need forgiveness! If Hell is where Meg is going, then I want to go there too!” Abby ran past her mother, bumping her as she sped away from the cause of her suffering.

“Abby!” her mother gasped, spinning around to shout after her “Take that back right this instant!”

She was slamming her bedroom door before her mother finished her sentence.

Abby threw herself on the bed and sobbed into her comforter. When she heard her mother’s muffled voice again, she knew she was on the phone with Dora. She scrambled to the door and put her hot, wet face on the carpet by the gap at the bottom to try to hear. She tried to calm her breathing. There was a sucking of cool air below the door pulling the air conditioned air into Abby’s room because Abby loved to keep her bedroom window open to allow the star jasmine scent inside, and to draw the cool air through. She was supposed to care that she was wasting electricity by cooling the outside.

“I think it would be best if Abby didn’t see Meg anymore outside of school. It’s just not in her best interest to have non-Christian friends at this stage.”

Oh Meg! How can she do this to us, Abby thought.

As she got up from the floor, her gold cross pendant caught in the twisted brown fibers of the carpet, breaking the delicate gold chain.

Abby stared at the broken necklace snaking into the carpet. She bent to pick it up and balled up the chain and pendant in her fist and quickly threw it into her ballerina musical jewelry box.

She never wore it again.

The next day in school Abby knew that everyone could see how red her eyes were. She wasn’t the kind of person who going to let her mom keep her and Meg apart, but her anger had kept her tears flowing all night.

*******

Abby met and moved away with Phillip, lost touch with Meg, moved back to Tucson

Abby fingered her amethyst as she drove home from work. It was an absent-minded gesture that had become a habit. But at this moment she was at a red light and looked to her right to see a store in the shopping center that said ‘Tarot Readings $50.’

Abby had passed by this new age store hundreds of times but today was the first time that she was really seeing it. She dropped her hand and stared at the shopping center.

Her initiation into witchcraft had led to such a childhood trauma with the loss of her best friend, Abby had never really reconciled her feelings about how playing at spells with her friend might have resulted in her burning in Hell for all eternity.

She did have questions about the uncertain future that she was facing. Maybe a tarot reading could help. If she was going to Hell anyway, it certainly couldn’t hurt.

Abby turned the wheel to the right.

The strand of brass bells tinkled against the glass of the door as Abby let it fall closed behind her. The woman at the register looked up over a pair of cat eye reading glasses with rhinestones on the wing tips.

She had curly grey hair and a kind smile that seemed familiar to Abby.

“Blessed be and welcome. Can I help you find anything?” she tilted her curls and let her glasses fall to hang from their beaded chain around her neck. Abby also noticed the nugget of polished amber around her neck.

“Well I saw your sign out front…” Abby turned and held her hand up as if pointing behind her.

“About the tarot card readings? Yes, I’m happy to reveal some guidance for you.”

Abby thought about the way she said that phrase and realized, that yes, that was what she was after, guidance to be revealed to her. As the woman came around the counter Abby could see that she was barefoot. She padded gracefully and silently to the door behind Abby and turned the open sign around.

“Now then, have you ever had a reading before?” Her grey kaftan was worn over black capri pants and Abby thought how much she reminded her of an aging Dora.

Abby shook her head. “Well a friend showed me her cards once, but we didn’t do a reading.”

“This can be just the thing when you need a little guidance.” The woman took Abby’s wrist somewhat reassuringly, and started to move with her as if waltzing her.

The woman’s heavy silver bangle felt cold against Abby’s wrist as the graceful senior guided her past the bookcases and shelves of Egyptian and Roman figurines, crystal balls, stones, and gorgeous journals. Abby recognized some of the symbols and mythical statuary but was overwhelmed by the books and incense and occult of it all.

The woman let go of Abby’s wrist as they came to a small round table in the far corner of the shop where tapestries in velvet black and purple and a pentacle hung, giving darkness to an otherwise bright shop. She took her seat and gestured for Abby to sit across from her.

“I’m Sylvie. You don’t have to tell me your name if you’d rather not.” Her smile helped Abby feel even more at ease.

“No, it’s fine. I’m Abby.” She took her seat. “Pleased to meet you.” She reached to shake Sylvie’s hand.

A deck of cards was face down in the center of the table between them and Sylvie picked them up and handed them to Abby rather than shaking her hand.

Sylvie pointed to the deck after Abby took the cards from her. “Go ahead and shuffle those any way you wish. While you do, just think about your question and set them back on the table when you’re finished.” The table had a homey antique white lace draped over a vivid purple satin cloth with a ruffle.

As Abby picked up the cards she noticed that they had a worn feeling to them, like a deck that had seen thousands of fortunes told through the years. The back of the deck was printed with a door. Abby thought for a minute that anything could be on the other side of that door. Maybe it was better left closed.

She began shuffling the cards with a capable bridge. She thought about Phillip and the status of her marriage. That was top of her mind right now. Would she and Phillip stay married or were they doomed to divorce?

Abby set the cards down. Sylvie asked her to cut the cards into three piles. When Abby had set them down, Sylvie scooped up the three piles and started dealing cards face up until 10 of them were in front of her. Four were in a vertical row on the left as Abby looked down and five were in a cross shape.

“So your question was about your marriage?” Sylvie asked. She had her glasses back on and was looking expectantly at Abby over the top of them.

“How did you know that?” Abby gasped, her hand automatically reaching for her amethyst.

“Yes, I noticed your amethyst too. That’s a healing crystal. Let’s see if healing your marriage is in the cards.”

Abby was shocked that Sylvie had guessed her question but her gaze fixated on the card in the center with the man in the black cape.

Sylvie pointed at the card under the man in the black cape. “So here is the heart of the matter. The Seven of Wands shows you fighting a battle. What’s working against you is the Five of Cups.” Now Sylvie pointed at the man in the black cape that was on top of the Seven of Wands. “You’re dwelling on what you can’t change.” Sylvie paused.

Abby sighed. “So I’m the man in the black cape?”

Sylvie nodded. “See how he is only focused on what is in front of him? If he turned around, he would see that all is not lost.”

“I’m my own worst enemy?” Abby asked.

“Can you stop focusing on what is lost long enough to see what is not yet found?” Sylvie asked.

It was a question that Abby hadn’t considered. She was fixated on her husband slipping away from her. What was she ignoring that was still whole in her marriage? Or did this mean something completely new, the not yet found? Might that be another person?

Sylvie didn’t wait for an answer. “This is the Fool. In the past you have been trusting, brave, yet unaware of what is happening around you. And now, here,” Sylvie pointed to a card with a woman on a throne, “the High Priestess means that you are feeling a little flirtatious but you need to focus on deeper matters.” Sylvie looked at Abby.

“Trust your intuition and seek guidance from your higher power. Are you a person of faith?” Sylvie looked at Abby over her cat eye reading glasses and waited for an answer.

“Well, I’m Christian, but obviously,” Abby gestured about her “I’m comfortable with new age-y stuff too.”

“It’s a common misconception. One does not negate the other. Many faiths can coexist in one person.” Sylvie continued with the reading.

“The King of Wands in this position means that you are moving away from your husband toward a more ideal mate.”

Reading the astonishment on Abby’s face she asked, “Is your husband an Aquarius?”

“No,” Abby was still contemplating what Sylvie had just said. “He’s a Scorpio, born in November.” How could she be moving toward another mate when she was still trying to save her marriage?

“Ah. This new man is an air sign. He is very intelligent and opinionated.”

Abby almost didn’t hear the rest of the reading. There was a card called the Hierophant that said that she felt the need to do what others expected. The Temperance card showed that she was hoping to achieve harmony and then there was the Hanged Man card that was in her result position.

Sylvie said that the Hanged Man meant that Abby was in for a major change in her perspective on her problems. She told Abby to brace herself for a new awakening.

Abby felt shaken. Sylvie was very perceptive to guess that Abby’s concern was about her marriage, but her prediction about a new man was something that Abby hadn’t yet entertained. Sure, she was experimenting with other men in her open marriage, but that was to add excitement in the bedroom within her marriage, not to start a new relationship.  

She paid Sylvie what she thought was a generous tip and thanked her. Sylvie returned rather efficiently to the door to change the sign, then to the counter register, where she remained silent. Abby, filled with whirling potentialities from her tarot reading, spent some time slowly walking toward the door, browsing the oils and exotic scented incense on the table near the door. So much of it reminded her of happy times with Meg that she felt a renewed sadness for her lost friendship.

When a customer entered greeting Sylvie warmly, Abby slipped out behind her. Before the door closed she heard Sylvie talking about having harvested a fresh batch of yarrow from the Rim Country. 

Yarrow. Miliflora; a million flowers. Abby could picture the little yellow or white flowers and the fuzzy narrow sage green leaves that she had seen growing near the Ponderosa tree shade outside of Flagstaff. She wondered what people who visited new age stores did with it.

Abby shook her head. Even if she believed that the reading predicted the future, that didn’t mean that she couldn’t change it.