Depression is like being Uma Thurman in Kill Bill, buried alive in a grave. But somehow, you didn’t die, and you clearly aren’t dead, because you’re reading, which means you managed to get out from depression alive.

You are undead, like a zombie. Or like Jesus.

If you’re alive after that kind of depression, you feel pretty alive, from what I hear. Like a real revival of faith from having sunk so low, that you literally feel like you left a dead version of yourself behind.

If you’re less lucky, depression is like being Uma Thurman in Kill Bill, but waking up from a coma and being paralyzed from the waist down and desperately trying to wiggle your big toe so you can drive the Pussy Wagon furiously toward your sweet vengance.

How to get up when you can barely wiggle your big toe –

This is about how to get up when you can barely wiggle your big toe.

No one is coming to save you, so celebrate the fact that you made a choice to act. No, really, really celebrate the fact that you took initiative to better yourself.

“I did?” you’re asking yourself.

Yes you did, I’m telling you. You’re reading a thing. A thing that has information. Information that you might be able to personally use to better yourself.

Whoa.

Relish it. Be your own cheerleader, even if you have to do it sarcastically.

‘Go me,’ you unenthusiastically said just now in your head. You’re barely trying. You can do better.  Be your own fu(king cheerleader. Yes, I said ‘fu(king’ AND I’m a Christian. Do it.

‘Whee, I’m so fabulous for reading your blog post and getting information to help me be a better person.’

You are a sarcastic fu(ker, aren’t you? Anyway, most depressed people are pretty $hitty about being able to appreciate the good things that they do all the time, and they’re also $hitty about taking credit for those good things. They focus on the bad. I’m trying to get you to Hunt the Good (this is a military resilience strategy, by the way). You woke up, you read this far, you can celebrate those two things. Period. Three, you’re breathing!

Celebrate, dammit.

How to acknowledge emotions without judging them – yup, shame feels $hitty. Acknowledge the $hitty feeling, but realize that someone told you once that your behavior was shameful, and you believed them. Choose to un-believe them. You have nothing to be ashamed of. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with you, just as there isn’t anything ‘wrong’ with me. If it feels right to you, there’s a reason it feels ‘right.’ Choose to believe in that ‘right’ feeling. Pet it. Love it. Cultivate it.

 

How to avoid feeling impacted by social judgments -Again, someone said that you did something ‘bad,’ ‘naughty,’ or ‘wrong’ and you believed that it was bad, naughty AND that YOU were somehow wrong. Choose to stop judging your own behavior by someone else’s standards.

 

How to ask for help when you should be strong enough to not need it – Yeah, again, this is someone else’s belief. If you need help, you will know it because you will feel like there is nothing else you can do. When you feel this way, ask for help. Ask from anyone. Ask help from everyone. Ask for tiny help. Ask for big help. But…

 

Expect to have to rescue your un-damned self because no one is coming to save you. – No, seriously, this is one of those unfortunate ‘facts’ that no one tells you about. See ‘How to get up’ above for where to start. Start with what feels ‘right’ for you and move toward it fearlessly, because it can’t get much worse, right? (Anxious people now start worrying about the future possible failures…)

That’s the depressed person I know and love!

I do love you. So does He. You are loved and accepted, just as you are. Try to love and accept yourself now, just as you are. I do. I accept you.

You are undammed. You are saved. Believe it. Believe that you need forgiving? He forgives you; just ask. Say ‘Please forgive me.’ You are already forgiven if you can just ask. And you just did.

You are also divinely protected. Be fearless. Read Beyond Fear: A Toltec Guide to Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz. You are light and love. A little bit of light is stronger than the dark.

Thank you for ‘listening.’

Rev. Teresa